Stigma of HIV

In modern day society, we all know that one person whether it is a family, friend, or associate that has bashed or talked about someone who is HIV positive. They would say things like, I don't won't that person touching me or hugging me. Or that person is a hoe and always been sleeping around with everybody and that's how they caught it. Truth be told,  now these days anybody can catch HIV if they are not using protection or questioning their significant other/sexual partner status every once in awhile. It only takes that one or few times by having sexual intercourse unprotected whether you were celibate like myself from age 18-24 can change your life in a blank of an eye.

A couple of months ago, I went to the specialist to check my lab results and my sister kept blowing up my cell phone because I let her borrow some money to help pay her rent. Prior to letting her borrow some money from me, I told her that I don't really have it like that because I have a doctors appointment that I need to pay for. The reason she was blowing up my phone because she wanted to come meet me at the doctor to give me the money to make sure I had enough. I kept telling her that she can just wait to give me the money when I get home because I'm pressing for time to be there. That was the last thing that I wanted, was for her to meet me at the doctors office and start asking me all of these questions of why I'm at a hospital. After all, none of my family members to this day know about my status.

About an hour or two later, when I came home, my sister asked me how was my doctors appointment, I said everything was fine which I completely lied, and oh shit! Lo and behold, she jokingly said to me, "Now I hope you don't have AIDS or anything." I looked at her and said, "NO" which in a sense, I don't have AIDs my CD4 at the time was 392 and anything 200 and below is considered AIDs. She went on to say, hypothetically speaking if you were to have "AIDS" would you tell me. I subconsciously said "No." She said WOW! Are you serious?? I  said YES and didn't say anymore. I kept focus by acting like I was doing something in my cell phone while remaining poise throughout that unsuspecting conversation. Then, that's when she said, WOW again if your own family won't tell you that they have AIDS you know a stranger won't. Omg she was 100% right.

And she also said, I don't know what I would do if I was HIV positive, I would have to see a shrink or counselor or something of that nature. These are just some of the little snippets of what some of my family members say or talk about when it comes to random topics like that out of nowhere.

Then, it was another situation 7 months ago before I was even diagnosed positive my cousin kept talking about this girl that we all knew back in our native hometown that has HIV. She was calling her a hoe and slut and saying things like she don't understand why she keep liking and commenting on things on her Facebook page as well as saying she shouldn't have had another child after her first one died (Assuming that her first child probably died from complications of HIV) and look basically like a dead corpse. I told her that it wasn't cool and right and she better be careful because Karma can come back to haunt her.

I said previously in my earlier blog, if I were to tell my family about my status which I'm not, I minus well prepare for my funeral and be buried in a coffin six feet under. I would never hear the end of it. It's already one thing that they don't know about my alternative lifestyle, but to find out I have a deadly disease from it they would be in utter disbelief. Not making this a joke, but it would almost be like a sad day in America when the former President John F. Kennedy was assassinated it would be so surreal to them and most likely make some of them become real sick mentally and physically. After all, most people that know me know that my mother passed away from Cancer at a very early age, so a lot of "What If"s or "How long?"
thoughts would be stampeding through their heads and I'm only 25.