August 2016

On August 28, 2016, that day was another obstacle that I had to face, I wasn't in the mood at all to go to work after my diagnosis and I was just so ready to quit. I'm a hard worker and the coordinators know my work ethics are great, however, I wasn't there mentally and physically at all. I know the company is closing down and all however, they were giving me way too much tasks for one person to complete. For instance, pulling samples from those cold ass -80 degree freezers that my hands were freezing numb and lifting heavy boxes with samples to put on the dolly to be shipped out. I always manage to have the strength even when I'm not feeling well or                                                                                         going through something terrible.

So later on that evening, it was time for my 45 min lunch break, I went out to my car in the parking garage sat in and turned on the radio to gather my thoughts of how I was going to break the news to my college best friend. We always confide with each other with our problems in everyday life even when we were in school together. She is the only one that I told about my status, I haven't told any one in my family about my status and I'm not planning on doing so let alone they don't even know about my alternative lifestyle. They are very judgmental and I minus well prepare for my funeral if that ever were to happen. I called her and stumbled upon my words before telling her, I said I'm positive she was in disbelief when I broke the news to her. She was asking basic questions on how I caught it and said I needed to tell somebody preferably my family, I said that's not happening she said what about a counselor I said no to that as well, I told her counselors are only going to make me feel worse and content with having this disease. They mostly go off of philosophy or textbooks rather then express their own personal experience or problems in life. I know my friend means well and was concerned about my well being, but I don't think that's the best thing for me right now.

The next day Aug. 29th was my doctors appointment that I scheduled immediately to have blood drawn with my Primary Care Physician (I've always been on my fathers insurance until I could get some stability on a job) just to confirm my status before they could refer me to an Infectious Disease Specialist. For the most part, the staffs were pretty friendly, one of the Medical Assistants was a little irritating to me she was a black girl that took my vitals and saw how worried I looked. She was assuring me I'll be fine and I need to tell somebody in my family about my status because they'll be my biggest supporters. I said that's not happening and I also said I'm going to cure myself and get rid of this she basically disregarded what I was saying and thought I was insane and speaking a foreign language when I said that. I just walked out of the office that day with my head held high because I knew this would be one of the many challenges that I would have to face.