Day#134 (When There's a Will There's a Way!)

I thought I was going to have a mental breakdown for the past couple of weeks. I just took deep breaths and gather myself together accordingly, I mean blows after blows from the news that I have been receiving lately. Let me rewind back, do you guys remember at the beginning of this year when I told you guys that I went to one of my primary care doctors (Not HIV Specialist) because I had genital warts externally around the anal area shortly after my HIV diagnosis a few months later and they prescribe with the topical solution called Podofilox. Check, Well the medicine fixed the warts externally because it never showed up anymore. Now lets fast forward to June 29th Specialist#2 appointment remember when I told you that my specialist wanted to perform an anal pap smear for some anonymous reason and I didn't understand why, but now I do.

About two weeks ago, my specialist referred me to the Colorectal Doctor because they saw something suspicious in the lab results. Mind you, I never knew why I was being referred to the Colorectal doctor because Specialist#2 never told me the Colorectal Doctor did. I explained to her my symptoms and it's crazy because that same day I went to the doctor I started experiencing this burning sensation not only inside my anus but around my buttocks it felt like I was sitting in a pile of FIRE!! I  did tell the Colorectal doctor I did have warts externally the beginning part of this year a few months after my HIV diagnosis, but I never thought anything of it to much. She said lets take a look to see why you are experiencing this burning sensation in your anal area. She and another lady that was her assistant had me bend over and stick something up my rectum, but I didn't know what it was and it was so excruciating, but I took the pain like a "G" as if nothing happened.

After she was finished examining inside my rectum, she said she see the reason why I have been experiencing such discomfort. She said you have little warts inside your rectum and you will eventually need surgery to have them remove before it gets bigger and the possibility of turning into cancer. She said most likely you have Human Papillomavirus (HPV) My eyes stretched "SURGERY?" I disregarded the cancer part because she will not speak that upon me or in existence. Now see, If I didn't knew any better, I would have panicked and carried on in that place had I not known of anything about Dr. Sebi, if fibroids can be shrunk through herbs and alkaline diet so can warts. I said just to be curious how much is this surgery going to cost on average? She said she wouldn't know I would have to call up my insurance to get a general estimate of how much it was going to be. So when I walked out of the office the receptionist which was an attractive sweet handsome black man called my insurance for me just to see if I even have the benefits to cover the surgery. Come to find out he said no because whatever plan I chose I didn't include surgery which I didn't think I would have needed surgery, but you live and you learn, He advise me to always include surgery on my insurance regardless of the cost that may come out of my paycheck. So I just took a mental note and thanked him for checking for me.

The next day, I decided to call the facility of where the surgery was supposed to be performed and they gave me a procedure code to give the people and the anesthetist of how much it would cost for the whole procedure. Since they said I didn't have insurance to cover the cost of the surgery initially it would cost me $15,000. I said to myself you guys most be out of yall everlasting damn mine if you think I would have paid that type of money that's not even going to heal the underlying condition just treat it. Then, they said with a 70% discount it would cost around $4000 for the procedure. Yall still out of yall everlasting damn mind I'll rather spend it on herbs that I know will cure it if I continue the alkaline diet. I told them never mind, I'm not going to proceed.

So I took it a step further upon myself to do my own research, you see when there's a will there's a way there has to be another alternative outside of surgery, although taking the herbs and the alkaline diet is the best route, I googled Holistic doctors that gave me an idea because all I see in the Dr. Sebi Alkaline Electric Living Group is people posting articles about holistic doctors dying mysteriously, so obviously they're doing something right. So I gave this holistic doctor a call around the city and explained my symptoms that I have been having. She said their consultation is $150 to speak with the doctor for about an hour to talk about what's the best treatment and to get down to the underlying condition of why I have the warts in the anal area. She said they usually perform Ozone Therapy (Which I haven't done research yet) which would safely remove the warts inside the anal area without any incision or surgery. The cost of the Ozone Therapy she said is about $125 according on how many treatments it would take to remove it. Well that's the best route I see, if push comes to shove if it gets excruciating again.

Around that same time, that I was having the burning sensation around the anal and also the penis area when I would urinate, I decided to make an appointment with the Primary Doctor two weeks ago and a few days ago for them to read me my lab results. I told them to just test me for everything give me a whole STD panel through blood work and Urinalysis. I told them before hand that I was diagnosed positive August of 2016 so it wouldn't be a surprise to them when the blood work come back. Everything came back negative for Chlamydia, Syphilis, and Gonorrhea, however they said through urinalysis lab results they saw some bacterial infection through my urine. I told them to prescribe me some antibiotics because I knew I had some type of infection the first time I came before the results were read to me because of the burning sensation. This was 3 days ago Saturday, I also let the primary doctor know that I saw a colorectal doctor because I had burning sensation because of the warts and he too encourage me to get the surgery. 

As soon as the doctor stepped out, which he is black, I asked his physician assistant do you think that Ozone Therapy is beneficial in removing warts he said "Yes" it's actually safer as opposed to having surgery. So that was good I done my own research on my part through Google because the colorectal doctor didn't tell me that. I said because the price that they told me about the surgery was insane and he said he totally understand and he was a foreigner too. The doctor prescribe me with three different types of Antibiotics and about 30 minutes later after taking it I didn't feel good at all. I had about three episodes of diarrhea which he said I would have. I slept for about 5 hours because I wasn't feeling well. Plus after coming from the Primary doctor I had a flat tire and waiting for 3 hours for the mobile people to give me a new tire which I felt I wasted money that could have been saved because I didn't have the tools to change my own tire, which I know how to do well. Whatever bacterial infection I had it subsided because I'm not experiencing any burning sensation when I urinate or as bad in my anal area. I most likely had a urinary tract infection (UTI).

I tell you it just doesn't get any better then, the temp agency recruiter called me and told me that I would have to start finding another job by next month although they said I'm a real hard worker because Donald Trump didn't allocate enough funds or something like that and I said to myself if it's not one thing it's another, Although this has been the most relaxing job thus far, I'm just so over these modern day slave jobs sometimes SMH. Then, my sister and dad called to tell me that Grandmother has terminal lung cancer it's spreading aggressively and they're giving her 6 months to live. I said don't tell me this, I'm tired of hearing bad news, give her some herbs, my dad said she's barely eating let alone walking. He said" I aint to much believe.." basically disregarding and said you need to come back home soon to take pictures with your grandmother. I said my grandmother has been a smoker for a very long time, although she's had heart surgery in the past she never had cancer and now about 2 years since she's been in the nursing home and quit smoking now she get's cancer? I tell you that is one place I do not want to go is the nursing home if I live to be an old age.

My college best friend called me and my other home girl from college both called me the same week when all of these bad news were taking place. They said keep your head up you're so strong, my college best friend said Omg it just seem like you can't catch a break, you are really going through a crisis (she is the only one that really knows about my status not my other home girl) she said we will conquer these obstacles together. I said yeah I am going through a crisis, but still remaining strong and pushing through. I said I do get tired of the way how my life is as a whole. I'm tired of worrying about money, Health Insurance, Where I'm going to live, always having to work extremely hard and hustle my butt off. When I did used to give Plasma at CSL Plasma last year that Was about $25 easy money in my pocket twice a week, now I can no longer do it right now because I'm sick...It just gets overwhelming and depressing how selfish people can be in this world sometimes, but when SHIT hits the fan and bad things start happening, or don't go their way they can't take the scrutiny. 

I'm just going to take it one day at a time still, brighter days will come.